Now That You Have Decided to Get Divorced, Choose the Collaborative Process By Enid Ponn

Breaking up a family is extremely sad. Add to that the devastating nature of the divorce process itself, and the result is a traumatic and destructive event. Unfortunately, in litigation, the “event” can take a year or two to conclude.

During this time, your life is not your own. You attend depositions, hearings, conferences, mediations, appointments to prepare for trial and and the trial itself. Time away from work and the loss of productivity is just one of the costs paid by those involved in divorce litigation. The negative impact on the children is often irreparable. Conflict resulting from heightened family discord, not the divorce itself that has the potential to cause emotional distress.

If the prospect of litigation does not attract you, but your marriage is irretrievably broken, there is some good news. You can partake in an alternate process to acquire your divorce called collaborative divorce or the collaborative process.

Spouses still have their own attorneys, but rather than each paying a pit bull lawyer to spar in court, the couple and attorneys agree to work together every step of the way to create a specially customized plan for each family. Collaborative attorneys are specially trained in this process and sign written Participation Agreement which states that if the case does not settle, they will not litigate the case, but will withdraw as counsel. Their only focus and motivation is to resolve the issues out of court in this non-adversarial, streamlined process which is based on open and constructive communication, not confrontation. If they cannot settle the case, they are out of a job.

Recently, collaborative divorce attorney are working with a financial professional and a mental health professional as part of an interdisciplinary team, all of whom have been trained in the collaborative process. Issues are resolved through a series of meetings: the process is client-driven: the couple makes their own decisions about their assets and about their children. No decisions are imposed upon them by a judge. A successful collaborative case spare children the anguish of parents who fight forever.

Celebrities such as Robin Williams and Roy Disney have chosen the collaborative process to get their divorces. With collaborative divorce, there is no need to step into a court room until the final paperwork is filed, providing the couples with a degree of privacy and confidentiality not possible in litigation.

Mediation was once thought to be merely an experiment that would not last and is now a permanent part of our legal system. Collaborative family law is destined to be the way of handling divorces in the future. In the last decade the collaborative process was introduced to Florida and we now see that it is finally taking off. After all, who would not choose an alternative that is healthier for everyone, less time consuming and less expensive?

Spanish Speaking Therapists In Weston

If English is your second language, it is challenging to live in a culture where Spanish is not the primary language. It is important to improve your skills by immersing yourself in an English speaking culture. Psychotherapy, however is a different story. If you are not fluent in English, your brain processes information in a different way. When you a talking about emotionally driven matters, you simply cannot process information while you are translating information. If you are not strong in the English language, you should not have to settle for an English speaking therapist or psychologist. It is important in the therapeutic process to speak in the “mother tongue.” It is the only way you will truly get everything out of the process that you deserve. At Weston PsychCare, two of our therapists speak Spanish. Our nutritionist also speaks Spanish. And most importantly, our administrative office speaks Spanish as well!

Gifted Testing For Weston and West Broward

Weston PsychCare, P.A. is pleased to announce that it will begin the “season” of conducting gifted testing for the 2012-2013 academic year. It is important for parents to be ahead of the curve and not wait to have their child tested. Unfortunately, we are all prone to procrastination…after all, we are human. But if gifted testing is put off until the last minute, administrative red tape can preclude a seamless transition for your child into his or her new academic world. Why not make your world a bit easier by having your child tested for a gifted class now? Our staff of licensed psychologists are proficient in gifted evaluations and will provide you with a comprehensive interview, test administration and a report accompanied by a follow up meeting with appropriate recommendations. Give your superior child the best academic opportunity available with gifted testing.

RELATIONSHIPS OF LOVE: DID I MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE?

Most people have heard of the old adage “everyone has baggage.” In other words, most people, if not everyone, have emotional issues. When it comes to love relationships, be they marital or dating, emotional issues are quite common. The reader very likely knows of people who tend to have troublesome marriages, or singles who seem to have a pattern of entering into dysfunctional relationships. In our society, the divorce rate is quite high. The fact that such relationship issues exist is not a surprise and is to be expected. The question is… why would that be the case? The answer has to do with the role of the unconscious mind.

The unconscious mind has one job, which is to protect you. If there is a problem, it must continually attempt to fix the problem. It is believed by this author that the unconscious mind is a physical entity within the body in terms of cellular memory that is designed to protect us from an evolutionary “survival of the species” perspective. Accordingly, it has no choice but to bring that problem into our life to give us an opportunity to work on it. If we ignore what is going on in terms of the problem, even if we terminate that problem, the problem will return. Applying this process to marriages and other relationships, if we get a divorce but do not resolve the underlying problem, there is a strong likelihood that when we marry again, we will bring that unresolved problem back into our life. The same process occurs in terms of selecting a boyfriend or girlfriend.

If we look at the process from an historical perspective, it is very typical that the various problems we have to deal with on a daily basis have their genesis from the past, most often dating back to childhood, in the context of daily family life. In some cases, the genesis may stem from academic or social relationships with peers during elementary, middle, or high school. Regardless, if the individual ignores such a history, the identified problems will continue repeatedly into the future. In other words, those who ignore history are condemned to repeat it. This is not just a “cute” concept, but rather a physiological certainty.
Weston PsychCare has male and female psychologists and other therapists experienced in resolving relationship issues. If you are interested in changing your future by changing your past, feel free to contact us at: 954-385-4696.

You Gotta Fight! For Your Right! To Providers!

by Weston PsychCare, P.A. on Friday, August 5, 2011 at 3:58pm

Are you having difficulty accessing mental health professionals who are in network providers for your insurance company? You are not alone. Unfortunately, insurance companies will limit the number of providers with whom they will contract in any particular area. By doing so, they create a high demand for providers to become providers for the company (supply and demand). Why do this? Simply put, they can reimburse the providers at a low rate. Their logic? “Hey doctor, if you don’t like what we’re paying, we have a wait list of doctors who would love what we have to offer.” The consequence for you the consumer? Few doctors who will be too busy to get you an appointment in a reasonable amount of time. If this happens to you, it is crucial that you be an advocate for yourself and family. Call the insurance company and tell them that waiting three weeks to meet with a therapist is unacceptable. Have a case manager find you a doctor. For, if you can find a doctor who will see you sooner, then insist that the insurance company establishes a “single case contract” with this doctor. Never just accept what you are given!

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The Psychological Effects of Youth Sports

Author: Helping Psychology

Sport psychology is a controversial issue. Some believe that participating in a sport, especially a full contact one such as American football, could possibly cause aggressive behavior. Others believe that those who are more aggressive seek to play more aggressive sports. Then there are others who think that sports allows for a productive way to let aggression out in a socially organized and controlled environment. Finally, there are those who claim that simply watching the sports could cause aggression in viewers.

The issues surrounding sports aggression and sport psychology are dynamic to say the least. These issues become doubly dynamic and the arguments for every side more emotionally driven when the arguments are applied to youth, however. The question is simple: Does participation in organized sports (or sports in general) create overtly aggressive young athletes?

The experts are split. In one study published by Michigan State University, Vern D. Seefeldt and Martha E. Ewing point out the longstanding tradition of bonding by playing sports. They even suggest that playing on a sports team is a healthy part of learning how to communicate while also commending organized sports for improving children’s physical attributes such as their motor skills.

Still, they also suggest that there are possible negative outcomes of organized sports when, for instance, an athletic youth cannot reach goals that are expected of him/her. This inability to compete with peers can lead to alienation, anger and, yes, aggression. Still, this aggression is not the sort of aggression that most think about when asking if sports—really, the violence of sports—cause violence in youth.

The other main problem that experts face when working in sport psychology is giving the term ‘aggression’ a definition. Aggression, like other abstract terms, is hard to identify and actually has many different definitions in the academic world. For instance, a volleyball player, although aggressively trying to win a point, would usually not be considered as aggressive as a football player or even a soccer player. Aggression is dynamic, because it is used for the benefit of the player but could, if unchecked, hinder the player’s progress resulting in penalties. Many experts, Seefeldt and Ewin included, would argue that sports actually teach youth how to channel their aggressive energy. Still, some are not convinced and would argue that playing sports actually teaches youth athletes to be violent.

So, the verdict is… inconclusive. It seems that sport psychology is as difficult to generalize as regular psychology. Really, each individual sports player is different and handles emotions differently.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/psychology-articles/the-psychological-effects-of-youth-sports-4824537.html

About the Author

Helping Psychology is your guide to learning more about the Psychology profession and the opportunities that are available in this dynamic discipline sponsored by Argosy University.

Are you interested in sport psychology? Visit here.

The Meaning of Meaning

Author: Mike Lally

Whether we are aware of it or not, we constantly look for meaning in everything we do. Of course, linguistically this makes the word “because” very powerful. If a reason is provided for a request, however inconvenient or unpleasant, it makes the request more difficult to turn down. We want to do things that are familiar and the brain conveniently and seemingly independently “fires” neurons of certainty to keep us comfortable and happy. This constant activity can make changing any situation where we feel limited or unresourceful difficult to alter. We become stuck and feel powerless to adapt.

What can be done to make change more accessible and transformation more possible? First of all we can reflect on the meaning we give to many things that we are subjected to. Strangely enough, it is amazing how simple it is to reframe any meaning we attach to something if we are prepared to make the effort. Once we understand that the brain is eager to keep us in a state of homeostasis it becomes easier to stop and reflect on alternative thinking. We have to challenge ourselves and let the unconscious know we want to think differently. This act uses innate creativity and is strengthened by using both hemispheres of the brain.

When we experience an event, we can develop a habit of stopping, reflecting and thinking: What is happening here? What else could this mean? Often we will never really know what the actual situation means, but thinking this way will allow us to broaden the way we habitually respond to a given situation. It is useful to consider that the information is just that…information, and data is open to interpretation and often ambiguous in nature. Let’s face it, data can mean just about anything!

However, interpretation of the data will determine the action that will be taken and often we simply respond habitually and fail to contemplate that there may be a better way to think about the situation. Once habitual reframing takes place it can lead to making more informed and creative decision making.

Now, what is wrong with certainty, you may ask. It’s worked well for me and why should I start to become something I’m not? Well, there is a trap in thinking along conventional, habitual lines. Does your thinking derive the benefits you ideally want? Do you make meaning in the most effective manner? Does your “certainty” get the outcomes you desire? This is where the “thinker and prover” is demonstrated, often to our cost. We busily make sure that everything that happens proves what we think it means. Confirmation is a lightning fast response to what we perceive to be true. But is it? Even when the evidence is sketchy it is amazing how we can adjust it to fit our model of the world.

Thinking differently, even fearlessly, can have a profound effect upon the quality of life. It can open up the possibilities and prevent you from overlooking potential opportunities. If you have been guilty of believing you cannot do something, how uplifting could it be to believe it may be possible? Challenging, but possible. Why saddle yourself with these self-imposed limitations?

Keep in mind that meaning is just interpreted data. Then think about the data in as many ways as you can. Consider the situation in VAK terms – what else could the sights sounds and feelings represent? Throw in smells and tastes if appropriate. Open up your internal dialogue and ask yourself: What else could this mean? There’s no need to restrict yourself; just as the question and wait for the fireworks from your creative juices to do its thing. You can create any meaning you wish and you can decide this is preferable to remaining stuck with no options. Get into this habit and don’t be surprised if opportunities begin to become more accessible.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/psychology-articles/the-meaning-of-meaning-4995415.html

About the Author

Mike is one of Australia’s finest Neuro-Linguistic Programming trainers. He is a sought-after executive coach, speaker and workshop presenter. He is a leading source of NLP, influence, hypnosis, body language and emotional intelligence skills. He has worked as an Information Technology Manager, an Investment Administration Manager and a National Client Services Manager.

An Innovative Plan To Treat PTSD

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often a debilitating problem requiring extensive treatment in order to bring it to resolution.  This is true regardless of whether the trauma is related to a physical, emotional and/or sexual event.  Rapid resolution of such a problem is seen as crucial in terms of assisting the individual in resolving the traumatic symptoms and facilitating a return to one’s normal life and routines of daily living.

Traditional verbal psychotherapy procedures, while potentially effective, can take extended periods of time in order to bring the trauma to a complete and permanent resolution.  During this time period, the individual’s day-to-day living is often markedly disrupted, or even brought to a complete “stand still.”

Dr. Albert Zbik is now offering an innovative alternative in providing unlimited treatment for a fixed fee in which the treatment sessions are provided in what we refer to as “Marathon” sessions.  Patients can be scheduled for extended appointments on a single day with the goal of resolving the trauma as quickly as possible.  Whether the patient is seen for one hour or 50 hours, the fee for the service is fixed.  Since such an approach cannot be charged to the benefits of any health insurance plan, the fee for such services must be an out-of-pocket expense.

For further information about resolving PTSD in a rapid, effective and cost-contained manner, feel free to contact Dr. Albert Zbik at 954-385-4696.

Redefining Selfish

One of the most recurrent themes I encounter in working with clients is the inability to truly distinguish between selfishness and self-directed approaches to daily living.  Those who struggle to identify either their actions or their attitudes as being in the service of selfish desires or genuine needs can often struggle with a burdensome sense of guilt, confusion and shame.  Persistent feelings of this nature can, in turn, contribute to depressed moods, agitation and a tendency to compromise one’s own personal values.  I have found that people who confuse self care with “selfishness” were often indoctrinated into a family culture that, itself, was confused.  Remember, selfishness is nothing more than an opinion, a judgment.  When such an opinion, for example,  is rendered with persistence upon a child, he or she eventually will internalize this judgment and then use it as a template.  Unfortunately, if this template is relied upon too heavily, then he or she will be burdened and confused.  Sometimes, a person’s desires become so compromised that they become terribly inhibited and avoidant,  as if feeling that they might be on the precipice of a “selfish” act.  For some, this can be terribly debilitating and contribute to poor self-esteem.  For others, a ricochet effect is noted and they become terribly rebellious in their behaviors as if to assume that the judgment of selfishness has already been rendered and that there is no use in trying to be empathic and conscientious.  In either case, relationship troubles will likely ensue.  Before casting judgment on yourself or others, it is best to try to determine what are the reasons or context for decision made.  Perhaps what might look like a selfish act might be a healthy act of self care.

Social Networking: Handle With Care!

Seth Grobman, Psy.D.

As my years of conducting psychotherapy accumulate, I cannot help but notice how much more time my patients take to discuss their relationships within the context of social networking.  As you know, social networking (My Space, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) has become a mode of connecting and communicating that has literally changed a human being’s way of relating to the world.  I would be so bold as to say that its impact is analogous to the invention of the telephone.  Relationships are profoundly altered: they are intensified, they are more easily severed; the network is truly the “fly’s wall!”  Access and convenience seem to be the variables that have caused this societal paradigm shift.  And it will only become easier to rely upon these tools as time goes by.  We will NEVER be able to go in reverse.

Isn’t it interesting, however, that patients will “talk” about their social networking interactions?  “Let’s discuss in a very direct way my issues about my indirect mode of communicating!”  More  often than not, however, I will find myself more interested in talking with my patients about the thoughts and feelings that come with social networking “issues.”  At times, it seems as if someone will be so compelled by their “page,” “space” or “wall,” that it is unclear as to what it is with which they are dealing.  Is it self or other?  It seems that after the layers are peeled back, the greatest allure for people is the fact that they have impact.  The power of written word (or vid or pic) is undeniably profound.  People WILL read what one  has to say, regardless of the value of the content.  And after all is said and done, one thing will never change for a person.  He needs to be heard.  My point is that the power of social networking seems to be in the need to be seen, rather than to see.  It seems obvious that people tend to be voyeuristic, but what is not as easily acknowledged is that people wish to exhibit, to be on stage, to be heard (for better or worse).

This is not to say that  psychopathology is afoot.  It may be that the issue of degree and impact is what differentiates adaptation versus problem.  Too much of a good thing?  How does it affect one’s conduct in other aspects of life.  The media throws around the word addiction to describe the phenomenon of  “facebook” but the issue is of compulsive behavior.  To feel compelled to do something is analogous to feeling a lack of options or choice; it must happen.  This type of behavior almost always is accompanied by neglect in other sectors of one’s life.  Simply put, it is quite powerful how much time people dedicate to social networking at the expense of other forms of communication!  People would rather dedicate their time to the communication modality of social networking than to the primitive, antiquated ….. talking!  I would love to hear your thoughts about this topic and, if possible, your personal experiences with social networking.  Look, I’d love to continue this conversation, but I just got a text…someone just wrote on my wall!!!!!!!!